Over the last few weeks I've realized how I have never taken the time to find out who I am and what I want to do with my life. Of course there are some basics like being a mother but I'm not one to focus on myself.
I started college without really knowing what I wanted to study or who I was as a person. And then I got married in my sophomore year. By our 6 month anniversary I was 3 months pregnant and boy that was a ride. It was very difficult for me to switch from being a college student to being a stay at home wife and later on a mother. To this day I struggle with it. At times I walk though my old campus and remember all the fun I had as a student and a part of me wants to turn back time so I could take the time to find myself. But, that's not possible. Instead after almost 9 months of taking care of my daughter, I am finally taking the time to just enjoy my life and who I am.
I am a stay at home mom and I really love it. It's taking me a long time to realize that it was my job to take care of a household, of making meals, and taking care of all the needs of my daughter. That is a big part of who I am. Another part of me is a daughter of God and I live my life to live up to that position. I try to read the scriptures daily and to go to church weekly but at times it is difficult to take care of the needs of my daughter let alone my own needs.
I have a need to be spiritual and that alone makes me strong enough to do all I'm asked to do in this life. That doesn't mean it is easy to wake up 5 or 6 times a night to take care of a child but it helps me remember that it won't last forever. That someday I won't have a little girl needing me but I'll be an old lady with plenty of time to do what I desire to do.
This life is to grow and improve though challenges so that someday we may be allowed into the presence of God, that is where true happiness lies.