April 24, 2017

Dads matter

Almost a decade ago on a flight to Utah. I met a woman that greatly impacted my life. To me she seemed young and pretty(she had life figured out, I thought). She had recently become an empty nester. During the 2 hour flight we talked. I don't remember everything discussed but I do remember her telling me that if you wanted your husband to be involved in your children's lives you had to act. She told me that unless I insisted my future husband won't have a relationship with my future children.

At that point in my life, I had recently graduated high school and was moving to Utah to hopefully get into college. I was definitely not thinking that far into the future. I was 18. I was applying to college and I did not have any prospects for a husband.... I was a kid.
Yet this lovely lady was giving me advise that I wouldn't need for many years to come. To her it must have just been a nice conversation but it meant the world to me. A stranger that wanted me to succeed in life.

Fast forward though college, marriage, a kid, many apartments and a few jobs. And that advise is ever more present. My husband has always been a great help. As I see my daughter getting older, I can see why that advise I received so long ago matters. When children are young they need you for everything. Yet a time comes when they don't need your help as much, they do most things on their own, they are ready to go to school and make friends of their own.

At this stage it is easy to forget that your kids no longer need a nanny to change their diapers and feed them. They need a loving relationship with their mother and father. It seems easier for a lot of mothers because they are home, they check homework and answer questions. But what about their fathers? They don't seem as needed. Their wives have it all handled, all they need to do is work and provide for their families.

Children need more than that they need a loving father to listen to them, to show them love, to play with them, someone to point them in the right direction. When a kid enter school they are all nerves and excitement. And they want to share it with those people that matter most in their lives. Their mother and father but what happens when parents are to busy or not available. Those loving children learn to not trust. They learn not to share their feelings because they were never heard before.

So I invite you to listen to your children. What they say may not be important to you but it means the world to your little one.

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